What do you do when your child comes home proud of a racist joke?

I usually only have this conversation once with my children.

One was just parroting his grandparents. He was only 5 and didn’t know any better and I corrected it. Then he grew up into his own self-hood and thankfully, racism and non-love is not a part of who he wants to be. He is naturally a very loving person, they all are, Blessed Be for that.

Another heard a joke from friends – a horrific Nazi Death Camp joke. Oh my god. I better never hear that out of his mouth EVER again. And he knows it. I will be taking that one step further thought and letting the Board of Ed know that that’s what these kids are talking about and making light of. Because they will then address that on a school-wide scale and take care of that end. We have a great county school system! I will probably get off my lazy ass and find him some good movies and documentaries to watch that will educate him about the REALITIES of the death camps and the Jews’ experiences. I haven’t done that yet but need to.

The littlest hasn’t said anything yet, other than referring to referring to African Americans as “a black kid” – which I”m not sure is offensive but it’s enough on the line that I explained to him that they might appreciate being described just as dark skinned or darker skinned rather than “black.” Same thing with the word “fat.” With him, it’s more a case of just explaining the social niceties that he is too little to be aware of yet.

I thought I was the only one that had had to address this issue
until I saw this article this month.
A worthy read:

Parenting the Resistance: 5 Ways to Have Hard Conversations with Kids
BY ERIN WATHEN

Excerpt:

It went down like this:

“Mommy, I have a joke for you, listen. How long is a Chinese man?”

[with a raised eyebrow and a bit of trepidation] “I don’t know… how long?”

“No, that’s the joke… HOW LONG is a Chinese man. Get it?”

“Um… that’s a little bit racist. And inappropriate. Don’t repeat it, ok?”

“How is that racist?”

“Well… It’s making fun of how a certain kind of name sounds. It’s called a microaggression. It’s really making fun of all people who are from Asia, whose names sound a certain way. Like [brother’s best friend who is at our house all the time]. You see why that’s not cool, right? To make fun of people for not looking or sounding like us? Some people will make fun of ANYthing that is not American, or not like white people. We don’t do that.”

“Okay.”

“Where did you hear that joke anyway?”

“[Name of Trusted Adult in her life.]”

“Well, [Trusted Adult] should know better. Let’s say something next time, if they tell jokes like that again.”

Shit. This is hard, y’all. Do you find yourself having conversations like this on a regular basis? I don’t know if just the age my kids happen to be; or the current cultural/political climate; or the fact that, once you start to take notice, you realize that kids hear and repeat stuff like this constantly. In any case, this real-time, passing conversation at my house last night is a good example of how we can engage issues of racism, in the moment; and begin to systematically de-program our kids’ white privilege with some measure of intention.. . .

March 22, 2018 1

Nightfall

Children’s laughter on the wind
Bird song bringing shadows in
Peace descending and resplendent
As daylight turns to eve.

Sunlight drops behind the trees
Bringing warriors to their knees
In the summer where they live
In the summer where they breathe

Children seek to warrior find
Children seek one of their kind
In the houses where they play
Know that this is, the best way

Flowers sing of where they’ve been
Without guilt and without sin
Gilding air and sound alike
Gilding air and human skin

Angels sing exaltation
Surpass our expectation
Peace descending and resplendent
As daylight turns to eve

March 20, 2018 0

Coffee Pot Chronicles

My nightlight shines from behind my empty coffee pot
Illuminating my goddess, my goddess of the morning
Light shines from behind my empty coffee pot
Illuminating truth and clarity, need and desperation
I come out of the darkness drawn to its beckoning glow
I come out of my darkness, see it waiting for morning’s light
I come out of the darkness, and I come into my home.

*****

My nightlight shines from behind my empty coffee pot
Illuminating its’ waiting desire to be filled, and used . . .
Its steadfast devotion tempers my anxiety, gives me peace
In this morning life of cutting sunlight and obligation
It is my soft place to lay my head while standing, it is
My womb. My desire. My comfort. My need. My love.
My circle of light in the surrounding darkness of 5 a.m.

*****

She resurrects me every morning . . . sacrifices Her commitment
Becomes my salvation and my soul’s worth both
I worship at Her cathedral of glass and heating elements
Of grounds and water, of the comforting drip of Her Nectar
Complete in Her intoxicating scent of morning’s waking hours
She sustains me. Gives me life. Breathes life to me.
She is my Lady . . . of the Morning. My Lady of Life.

March 19, 2018 0

Dreaming of Spring

Love this. So appropriate to me this week, too!

forgottenmeadows

New blooms of her heart
drift with the white clouds
of the blue skies
dreaming of spring.

poetry and image copyright neha 2018

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March 19, 2018 0

No Dignity

There is no dignity in begging
In begging someone not to hurt you
In begging “please”
In begging forgiveness
In pleading for your own safety
A safety that ought to be yours by right

There is no dignity in fear
In the unreasonable, unspeakable, gut
Wrenching fear
And the panic that comes
When they can do anything to you
And you can do nothing

There is no dignity in being screamed at
Like a child
In being degraded before others

In having strings pulled
Like a puppet

There is no dignity in the fear
That clutches at your heart when
They say “we’ll talk about this later
In that tone of voice
And you think they mean in bed
Suddenly terrified
At that point
You would rather throw yourself
In front of a train
Than displease them further
So you shut up
And you do as they say

There is no dignity, no humanity in someone
Other than yourself
Having complete and utter control
Over the ratios of pain and fear in your life

There is no dignity in being a wife.

March 18, 2018 4

A Witch’s Trials and Tribulations

Tips for Other Idiots

April 3, 2018
Learned (again – because I had forgotten the last time) that incense cones and candles don’t mix. As in don’t sit an incense cone on top of a burning candle. It will create a fire big enough to cook over.

“A wise man must be wise before, not after.”

-Epicharmus, Sicilian Greek comic poet

. . . I said after Bathroom Fire #1,
Kitchen Fire #s 2 and 3,
and various other magickal feats of excellence.

January 11, 2018 0

Tiny Lines #52 from Sunshine Bliss

What hurts the most is, Not the separation.. Not even the emptiness.. Definitely not broken heart.. It’s the fact that, The person who once said- I can’t live without you Is happy without you, So much happier than you have ever seen.. So happy with the someone else That hurts. As depressing and shameless it […]

via Tiny Lines #52 — Sunshine Bliss

December 10, 2017 1

So You Smile — Opinionated Head

When the heart is slit open Love drips like blood Thick warm drops or red Trickle down the chest and it’s painful. It’s as if the air around you turns dense and heavy Too heavy to carry, It starts to bend you, exhaust you, But it’s not all in the air, you feel it in […]

via So You Smile — Opinionated Head