If It Were So Easy

walk away they say, and I pretend
I don’t know what they mean
walk away they say, and I wonder
but will I be clean?
walk away, gently, walk away
walk away they say, repeating
themselves, and are dismayed
by my lack of attention, annoyed
in this point of contention
I know that I need to turn around
but I am moved by compulsion
one I cannot seem to name
I am moved by the habit of years
by the movement of tears, by the
trickle of fears, fickle or not
one after the other, in the night
in the day. I wake in the night, saying
“don’t touch me, don’t touch me”
I cry in the night, begging
“don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me”
dream I plunge a knife deep in
his heart, and cannot stop, and
cannot stop. I am evil in this
dream. Get some sleep they say
but I know it’s best if I don’t
just trust they say, but
I know that I won’t
walk away? I think but I
am surrounded on all sides
I have no place to hide
walk away they say, and I pretend
I don’t know what they mean.

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Copyright 2000 mds. All Rights Reserved.

3 thoughts on “If It Were So Easy”

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  1. Transfixing and powerful “dream I plunge a knife deep in
    his heart, and cannot stop, and
    cannot stop. I am evil in this
    dream”, …..
    If pushed far enough, I think there’s an evil trigger within us all.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thank you Ivor. Yes, I think that is very true. Thank God, most don’t get pushed that far. It’s a hard thing coming face to face with your own darkness. As you know.

    Liked by 1 person

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